My Rainbow

 I am amazed each day at how much God loves me. I learn every day that God is more than the main character in an autobiography.  He is alive and well and He loves and wants what is best for me.  

  A few years ago, I was down and depressed. I would lay in bed until Jared and Bob would come home, then I would get up and try to resemble somewhat of who I once was.  

 One day, I really, honestly had enough.  Jared was married now and he was out of the house. It was just Bob and me. The pain was worse than it had ever been and it seemed noone was paying attention. In the meantime my daddy got really sick. He had fallen and broken his hip and laid there for several hours before he was found. During the hip stuff he ended up with a disease called Lewy Bodies. Lewy Bodies gave my dad a horrible death and he was gone in four short years.

 One day I was lying in bed crying out to God.  I honestly am not sure if I had gotten out of bed and dressed or even if I had the day before. I heard Him. He was talking to me.

"Who do you say that I am?" He asked me.  

My reply was simple, "You’re my everything. My God.”  

Then He asked a tough question. "Really? Are you acting like it?"

My answer was "No God, I am not."  

Then I heard, “Start looking and acting like my child. I will give you the strength. I won't let you down."  

"How God?” I asked.  

"Get up, dress like you’re healed and take your picture. I will be your strength.” 

 He never has let me down and there have been a lot of hurdles.  March of this year was probably the biggest and this is probably the one where I felt God the strongest. 

 I had been sent for an MRI of the brain due to some sleep-walking, out of my head, I don't remember the day episodes. Bob was not able to leave me some days and some days I ended up in the ER. Everyone was giving me a different reason as to why.  

 We were at the doctor’s having some more tests done when he decided to bring up the MRI and look at it on the computer.

"Oh My.” he said, "Where is your brain, lady?"  

 He got all excited telling me how little my brain was. He then proceeded to tell me I had early dementia and he thought I possibly had what my dad had had. I was laying on a cot and he was doing a nerve test and he kept going on and on about my brain. I wept. Out of all the things that I have had to have done, out of all I have been told was wrong, this hit me the hardest. He asked me to bring another MRI so he could compare them. He was going to go over all the tests and I was to come back on Good Friday and he would tell me where we needed to go from here.  

 The first thing I thought about was that I had not shared what God has done in my life with enough people. I had not told of his love. I had not told them how when you are hurt to the core and your life is falling apart, that He is there holding you. I had not told enough people. I told God. I asked Him to forgive me.  

 That month was the longest month of my life. As it grew closer Bob had told me I had an Easter present coming. Then he told me he had checked on it and the Easter present would not be in until after Easter. I had no idea what it could be.  

 Once, when I got up, got dressed and put on my makeup, I had taken a picture and he had put it on his desktop at work.  Good Friday, the day we were to find out what all of this meant, got here and a package came and I checked the mail and there was a box.   Bob said let me check it first. I went and finished getting ready to go and when I came back I opened it. He had taken one of my pictures and ordered a canvas of it. I felt like I had been given the rainbow. God had promised me if I would not give up, He would not leave me. He told me if I dressed like He was the lifter of my head He would always be there with me. Now He has sent me my "rainbow”.  What an amazing God we serve and oh how He loves me. I thank my husband for listening to God and for being right beside me these past few years.  

In case your wondering, there was no sign of early dementia, the previous MRI"s  showed  the same thing.  He thinks I was born that way and that my body adapted.  God is good all the time God is good.

Here I am Lord, Let me.

When I was a little girl my uncle served in Vietnam.  I remember parts of that very vividly.  We would bake cookies and send him care packages. I remember one day mom being distraught because they had bomb my Uncle’s barracks.  He was away on maneuvers but it was a while before we knew whether he had been in the barracks or not.  I remember that they broke in and stole all his pictures of things back home, like of his wife and his mom and of us.  

We have had many missionaries come and speak at our church and they all have touched my heart greatly, but one stands out.  There was a gentleman from my own church that went to Vietnam.  He showed us things there and it really touched my heart.  

He showed us houses called orphanages that can be built for 1,900 dollars and they would house an orphan and give them an opportunity to go to a Bible believing church and to get an education.  This has so touched me.  

It is my hearts desire to get into a position or shape, financially, health wise and freedom wise to be able to accept anything the Lord would have me to do.  I am not sure I will ever see foreign soil, but I want to be ready if the Lord should call me to do that.  

I once heard some one say we needed to be baskets.  So I looked up the uses of different baskets in the Bible.  

In Genesis they were in the dreams of Pharaoh’s butler and chief baker and Joseph’s used them when he interpreted the dream.  They symbolized days in the dreams.  

In Exodus, Moses was hid in a basket to keep him safe.

Baskets were used to gather the food left over in the feeding the multitude.

Baskets were also used to separate the good and the bad fruit.  What kind of fruit are we baring.   Jeremiah 24:1-3.

My mother in law used to collect baskets.  The had no purpose but to put it on the shelf and look pretty.  Some Christians are like that.  

They come in and take their seat on the pew and they smile and look pretty.  

I don’t want to be a “show” basket.  I want to help people, I want to serve people and, in doing that, serve God.  

But before our baskets can do any good they need to be empty.  A basket full of the wrong things can do little good for anyone.

What ever God has in store for me, I want to be ready.  My basket has some things that are old and need to be thrown out.  My basket contains some hurts that I have held on to and I need to let go.  My basket contains some guilt for things which I have long been forgiven for.  So I am cleaning my basket to be available when He says, go there and take some food, or go give someone a ride, or help a missionary passing through.  I just want to be ready to say "Yes Lord here I am, let me”.